Saturday, February 12, 2011

Saturday Confession

I stood at a small little shop yesterday as my kids got to pick out a little treat. 

I paced up and down the candy bar isle...grabbing this one, and that on and reading the nutrition on the back. 

I love peanut butter and chocolate together and there is a new peanut butter snickers that I have been dying to try.  I grabbed it, certain that I was going to get it, after all I hadn't had a candy bar in a long time.  Then I read the nutrition, 250 cals for two little scares of delight.  Worth it or not? 

I prayed, Lord please take this craving away. 

I set it down and then looked at the York patties and a few others.  I wish I could say I was strong enough that I didn't buy anything.  But, I did make a better choice.  I bought a dark chocolate bar and ate only two scares from it.  After all, dark chocolate does have antioxidants and I knew that two small squares would satisfy the craving I had for chocolate, and it did!  However, I am still having to learn that when I crave something like that, why I am craving it and do I NEED it.  I don't think I always do and part of my sinfulness is running again and again to my cravings for yummy tasting stuff rather than to my God.

Sometimes this battle with weight and the scale seems unending and it probably always be.  It was a mentally discouraging week for me.  My mind wasn't strong and I was consumed with the fact that last Monday the scale went back up to 188.  I just couldn't shake it.  I've been trying so hard and to think that MORE effort is going to be what it takes to keep dropping numbers seems a daunting task.  I am trying hard to remind myself that this journey is long, that the number isn't what it is about.  That for me, it is about getting healthy so I can life a full long life and most importantly for me, that I can learn to glorify God with the choices I make about food.

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