It's been a good week other than the fact that I have been sick.
I have got to learn how to manage life when things get more complicated or my schedule doesn't work as planned. I did great last week, eating, working out, seemed to flow so smoothly.
Then this week hit, two days with sick kids home= me not working out. THEN, I get sick=not working out. My rhythm has been interrupted and it gets frustrating and discouraging how to navigate. I haven't given up though. I am still pushin through and hopefully health will be my friend again next week. Because I do not like it when my plans don't work out accordingly.
In the past, I would have thrown the towel in and given up completely. I would have allowed myself to indulge in the foods I love and crave because "it was out of my control" however, that is not truth. Truth is that I DO have control over what gets put into this chicks mouth. I may not have control over sickness, health, work out schedules all the time, but the one thing I do have control over is what I allow to enter this body. And I am proudly telling you that I did good for the most part. I did eat like 6 small chocolates one day while preparing the kids Valentine for their teachers. BUT, I STOPPED at 6! Before, I would have just kept on going. But, I did think about those chocolates all day long...and had to remind myself to think on Jesus. He is truly what my soul craves more of. I am learning this.
I told you I was reading a new book. Made to Crave. I just started it and she says something in it that really sums things up for me..
"Honestly, I am made for more than a vicious cycle of eating, gaining, stressing-eating, gaining stressing...I am made to rise up, do battle with my issues and, using the Lord's strength in me, defeat them-spiritually, physically, and mentally-to the glory of God."
I love that! That is so true. And slowly, I am learning it.
After looking back at all my weights I am glad to say that it's been a slow and steady journey down. This last year I actually got back up to 199 and that's when I began to panic. I had honestly worked so hard to get under the 200lb. mark and the fact that it was staring so closely at me was scary. That for me is really when my heart was having to be dealt with and God began to grab hold of me. I didn't want to keep dieting. I wanted to grow closer to Him and not go to food to fill every emotion that I was feeling. I wanted Him to fill it. It's still a daily struggle, but something that I am so thankful for because in realizing this truth, I really feel that I am on the way to truly being an over comer.