Tuesday, April 19, 2011

GREEN TEA and confession time.

I am going to get back into drinking my green tea!  I used to drink it all the time when I was first beginning my diet and exercise routine when I lived overseas.  I would brew it in a large pitcher, then refrigerate it and drink it through the entire day in addition to my water.  I moved back to the states, got lazy again, started my daily latte habit and realized for some reason when I drink coffee, especially lattes' it is harder for me to lose weight.  It's been a few weeks now that I have given up on my need for lattes and coffee and have been drinking green tea, but just not consistently!  I was reminded today at Peak313 Fitness of the benefits of green tea and being that it's week 3's challenge, I think I will start it up again.  Get my metabolism going a little bit more and see if it will help me!

And I need all the help I can get!  I had a very frustrating week.  Probably PMS, but still I felt ravenous in my eating habits.  I was never quite satisfied and craved sugar like there was no tomorrow!  UGH.  It was so frustrating and I feel horrible caving into those weak areas of my life.  I have my group of girls that get together for accountability and I feel like I let them down in someway.  I just didn't care.  I know, it was only one week, but it truly sucked.  I feel like I do a lot of saying, "this week I am getting back on track" so I even hate to let those words come out, but I really feel like that is what I am going to do.  I ran 4 miles yesterday and ate ok overall.  I did cave at a point and had a chocolate chip cookie.  My hope is that today I can be strong enough to not even go after that cookie! 

I don't completely understand this journey.  How to include God into the process of eating.  Seeing it as sinful, for me, to indulge is sinful. I know my heart.  It's complicated though when I eat to eat and I am not feeling a certain way;  stressed, anxious, depressed etc. and still overeat just to eat.  I don't quite get that.  Why do I allow myself to sabotage the efforts that I have put in?  I have such an unhealthy relationship with food and I pray that in this upcoming year that it would change.  I can't rid it from my life, but I pray that I would truly learn to EAT to LIVE not live to eat!  I have so much work to be done in my heart!  It's my battle.  I will be an OVER COMER by the blood of the lamb! 

Jesus, be my strength and be my portion today.  Help me to see my sinfulness, help me to repent and to turn.  I have replaced you so many times in my life with food.  Quicken me today, to help me see those times, those habits and patterns that I have created that are not a benefit to my life.  Show me when I am wrong, show me when I am eating just to eat, convict me when I am not eating something beneficial to my body. And help me to truly crave and desire more of you in my life.  Jesus, I NEED YOU! Nothing else, only YOU!  Fill me today, I pray.  Amen.

4 comments:

  1. I love the idea of brewing a full pitcher and adding it with water each day! You aren't alone in your weight loss frustrations. There are days that even I kick myself and ask "Why in the world did I just eat that?"

    So the best I can do is pick myself back up and make good decisions for the rest of the day.
    You have found the real key in satisfaction--Jesus!

    Clare

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  2. I just love this blog! It's so fresh and honest, like you're confiding and truthful. It speaks to me of humility on so many beautiful levels! God bless your journey and please visit my blog at http://freeandtransformed.blogspot.com/. Let's work at this together!

    Blessings!
    Glory

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  3. Thank you for reading and sharing. I have been off of this for a bit, I go in and out of seasons, I am trying again...I am not a GREAT blogger! I will update today, but wanted to share that I apprecaite your comments so much. Claire and Glory, thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot to me. I hate to say, that I am just checking this today! Wow, a few weeks later. Sorry...

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  4. I am not exactly sure how to respond to a comment yet! I think if I respond here, will you get it? I am still learning how to blog! Thanks Clare and Glory for responding. I appreciate the encouragement so much and was out of touch with the blogging world for a bit because I was in such a place of shame, eating horribly. Getting back into old patterns. I live in this cycle, but am hoping and trying to break out of it. I started posting again if you want to check out what's been going on. Thanks again for the words. I appreciate it so much and I am sorry for taking so long to respond. In Him...Overcomer SMH

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