Friday, April 1, 2011

It's been a little while since writing.  I am not good at this blog thing and keeping up on it. 

I met with the girls last night.  My accountability group.  The girls who keep me on my toes, who are in this struggle with me and understand it completely.  We get together, do a book study, talk, discuss our weights, etc.  It's really good and refreshing for me meeting with them.  It's a reminder that this is a battle, and not to give up and stop fighting.  I am surely not on a diet, but a spiritual journey.  I was reminded last night that it's a spiritual commitment, not a diet.  A commitment that I want to learn to glorify God in.  It gets hard trying to figure it out at times.  I mean, glorifying God in WHAT WE EAT?  Seriously?  YES! For, someone like me who has turned to food all her life as a means to comfort, entertain, ease, has always been about running to the comfort that food brings rather than running to the throne of Grace and true comfort.  All I can say is I am learning.  It is definitely a journey, and I fail almost every day in some way or another.  But, I long to be more like Jesus, and if it means that he is doing some refining and awakening in my soul to get me there, I will go through this process to learn, to be humble, and to grow more in Him.

I am running a half marathon on Sunday!!!  It's my first one ever.  I am excited, nervous, anxious, and if I think about it too hard I literally get an upset tummy!  I have been training for it though. I know I am prepared as much as I can be, and it will be ok.  It's a HUGE accomplishment for me.  Just a few months ago it killed me to run 6 miles.  So the fact that I am and can do twice that much is so exciting for me.  When I was even in my best shape of my life in high school, I couldn't run that far! 

I haven't been keeping track of the number on the scale.  I took a break from it.  I get so upset or excited all based on what the number is and it was just too consuming.  I plan on weighing again after my big run!

Well, that is the latest in my world.  Still in this, still in this fight, still wresting thoughts and temptations to eat non nourishing foods, daily.  Some days are great, other days I give in.  I am pushing through.  Not giving up and still hoping to be at my goal weight by the end of July!

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