Monday, January 2, 2012


Well, it's a new year, a new day.  I don't like New Year's resolutions that much at all, especially ones that year after year I fail at.  But, what the heck.  It is a new day and I get a fresh new start each day.

I have failed miserably at this journey of weight loss.  I have given up and given in too many times to count. I get comfortable and then complacent and then quit all together.  That's my journey.  That's what I have done year after year.  What makes 2012 any different?

I am hoping and praying that the difference maker for me this year is complete and utter dependence upon God and his strength alone.  It is so dreadfully obvious that this battle at weight loss isn't something I can kick on my own strength.  I mean, I can conquer it for a season and have little victories here and there, but it hasn't been something I have kicked all together.  I recently read something that said sugar/food addicts have a similar dependency on food like opium has to an addict.  OUCH.  For some reason that is hitting me hard this year.  As I finish up all the holiday festivities and eating binges I realize all too well that this whole sugar addiction is real.  My body and my mind CRAVE it like no tomorrow and my need for it doesn't go away until I satisfy the craving.  Isn't that truly what drugs do?

Anyways, saying all that to say I want a fresh start.  I WANT to change.  I WANT to be healthy.  I WANT to live a fulfilling life and I want to have energy and feel good.  None of that comes from eating crap.

So, again...I begin afresh and new.  Tomorrow is a new day.  It isn't a Monday, which I constantly keep saying "I will start next monday." and that next Monday keeps going by.  So, maybe by starting tomorrow, on a Tuesday something different will trigger in my mind and body.  I know what I need to do. My last successes came because I had a group that I was accountable to and a friend who helped me along the way.  This time I am doing it alone, just me and my God.  I want to overcome because HE has given me victory, because I know who I am in HIM, not only because friends around me are succeeding and pushing me to succeed.  That is great and all, but this year, this time, I really feel that it is something I have to do between me and Jesus.  I foresee the next couple of weeks being somewhat really challenging.  Coming off of a high is never easy or pleasing.  So, to forewarn you on here, I may come across a little B@*%^Y sometimes, but it is just to keep it real for me.

So, here's to 2012.  I hope at the end of it I will be able to tell you I  have gained victory in the area of eating and weight loss.  I hope to be able to say I am fit, active, energetic, happy, and confident.  Not because I did something miraculous myself, but because I added Christ to the equation.  I long to be completely satisfied in Him and to know Him intimately.  I long to see this area of my life as sin, and to truly repent of it (I go to food for pleasure and comfort, to me that is an area of sin that I do know the Lord has convicted me of) and I need to change.  Tomorrow I will weigh in and hopefully keep better about writing in this this year!

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