Tuesday, January 3, 2012
So I got up this morning to hit the dreaded scale! I an UP which I knew I would be. It sucks. I feel so awful about it. I ran 2 half marathons this year and still cannot manage my weight. I lack some serious self control when it comes to eating. I weighed in today at 187.8. For the last two years, well actually 3, since 2009 I haven't been able to get out of the 180's. (You can look at my weights under the tab) What a reality check. If I am honest with myself I think I go back and forth being comfortable in that weight range...meaning I get down to the low 180's start feeling good, gorge myself again until I am up and then do it all over again. I got up and sought the Lord this morning. That is what my change will have to be. I have to include Him in this journey. I pray that I overcome. I pray that I have the strength to get down to 155 this year and stay there. I pray that I have the ability to really truly desire health. That I begin to learn how to eat healthy and make the right choices with my foods. I pray that this addiction would not longer be an addiction. I pray that I would be set free from my temptation to get my "feel good" fix from food. I pray that my mind would learn to be clear and focused. I long to be a woman of self discipline, in all areas of my life. Lord Jesus, please help me. Guide me, be my wisdom and show me when I am being tempted. Reveal to me my sinfulness, my selfishness,the ways I turn to food rather than to you. Amen.