Friday, May 13, 2011

Yesterday, Day 2

I made it through day 2.  It was tough.  More physically than anything.  I have been getting this really bad cramping in my lower back.  I keep thinking it is the toxins, waiting to remove themselves from my body, but I am not sure.  I had to sleep on the couch last night to allow my husband sleep.  I was tossing and turning so badly.  I had a bit of a head ache last night.  I am going to try drinking much more water today than I did yesterday and see if that helps me.  I really want to do this, to clean out my system and learn to have a new relationship with food.  My tongue is grossly white.  That is the toxins being released in my body.  A tongue should be pink in color, I am just learning this.  Wow.  It's gross.  They say that as the cleanse progresses and your body becomes cleaner it will go back to a light pink color.  I didn't realize this before.  Sorry if this grosses you out, but it's been kind of a shocker for me.  It's kind of disturbing!! LOL!

I found myself thinking deeply about food yesterday. Hahaha!  It sounds so funny even admitting and saying that, but yes...that is me.  I tell you, I LOVE FOOD!  and it is evident in my thoughts and in my actions.  Wow... Lord help me to dwell on you today. 

"You were taught regarding your previous habit patterns to put off the old person that you were, who is corrupted by deceitful desires, being rejuvenated in the attitude of your mind, and to put on the new person that you are, who is created in God's likeness with righteousness and holiness that come from truth.."

Lord, take away my old thought patterns, my old way of eating and doing things.  The way I run to food rather than you.  You give me desire to crave, to want, to need, to love, but it is only in YOU that those things are fulfilled and I so often fill it with all the wrong things.  I allow the enemy to convince me of other pleasures that appear at the time more satisfying than you.  But it is not truth.  I believe a lie when I think I will find more satisfaction outside of you.  Help me today, that you be my only desire.  Oh, God. I am so sinful.  I need you so much.  Thank you for your grace and mercy.  Forgive me for not having a heart that earnestly seeks you, a heart that is often divided, and for not loving you more.  For caring more about my own satisfactions than remembering daily what you did on the cross for me.  I NEED YOU!  Amen.

They say that Day 3-4 is the toughest days of this whole thing.  I hope to push through it and that this pain in my back would subside. 

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