Today I am grateful... for so many things.
1. I heard the Lord's voice and answered the quiet voice that is always drawing me back to Him.
2. I feel like a lump of clay in the potter's hand, and I am thankful that the process of change is happening in my heart.
3. People that love me... just how I am.
4. There is a path of recovery that many people have taken before me, and successfully... that I dont have to reinvent the wheel, but I do have to do the hard work.
5. That I am exactly where God wants me for today.
6. That my sister re-discovered her spiritual voice, atleast the one that I can hear.
7. That my kids and my husband are healthy and vibrant and a gift to me.
I could keep going but it would amount to listing things like air, water, music.... all of the sudden, my eyes are awakened to the beauty and gifts that surround me. I love it when Jesus puts those kind of glasses on my eyes, a mere glimpse of seeing the way that he sees.
I have an addiction... an addiction to unhealthy relationships: where I seek validation and approval. I have an addiction to food... where I go to comfort my heart, my loneliness, my pain - that comes from seeking everything except God. I have a Habit, that could potentially lead to addiction if I dont treat it seriously... and that is to alcohol. It is a quick and fun escape. The problem is that the more I have, the more I crave, the more I eat and throw caution to the wind, the more and more I disconnect and check out, and the further I get from God. So, for TODAY, I have victory and the Lord is my strength. Healing these addictions, and giving them over to Him, admitting that I truly am powerless over them.... that is the first step to my recovery. It's the choice in the fight or flight reaction that all humans have. Today I have chosen to fight... and only because my father has reminded me that the fight, however tough it is, is worth it... especially when He is in charge.