Sunday, February 8, 2009

Grateful ~ SMM

Today I am grateful... for so many things.
1. I heard the Lord's voice and answered the quiet voice that is always drawing me back to Him.
2. I feel like a lump of clay in the potter's hand, and I am thankful that the process of change is happening in my heart.
3. People that love me... just how I am.
4. There is a path of recovery that many people have taken before me, and successfully... that I dont have to reinvent the wheel, but I do have to do the hard work.
5. That I am exactly where God wants me for today.
6. That my sister re-discovered her spiritual voice, atleast the one that I can hear.
7. That my kids and my husband are healthy and vibrant and a gift to me.

I could keep going but it would amount to listing things like air, water, music.... all of the sudden, my eyes are awakened to the beauty and gifts that surround me. I love it when Jesus puts those kind of glasses on my eyes, a mere glimpse of seeing the way that he sees.

I have an addiction... an addiction to unhealthy relationships: where I seek validation and approval. I have an addiction to food... where I go to comfort my heart, my loneliness, my pain - that comes from seeking everything except God. I have a Habit, that could potentially lead to addiction if I dont treat it seriously... and that is to alcohol. It is a quick and fun escape. The problem is that the more I have, the more I crave, the more I eat and throw caution to the wind, the more and more I disconnect and check out, and the further I get from God. So, for TODAY, I have victory and the Lord is my strength. Healing these addictions, and giving them over to Him, admitting that I truly am powerless over them.... that is the first step to my recovery. It's the choice in the fight or flight reaction that all humans have. Today I have chosen to fight... and only because my father has reminded me that the fight, however tough it is, is worth it... especially when He is in charge.

1 comment:

  1. AWESOMLY said!!! You are such an amazing woman sis! The way you word things touches me deeply. I love hearing you and getting to know you more and more through this journey that we have chosen to take together. Even though it is individul, it is also nice having you to do it with, to fight with, to encourage when I am down and vice versa. Let's praise HIM for TODAY! We are overcoming because of Jesus and his tender mercies. They are new every day.